LOSING IT ALL

This story is reprinted from Science of Mind magazine in April 1993. It is a true story of my account after going through a seperation from the woman and 2 beautiful children that I loved with all my heart. I do hope you will enjoy. I might suggest that you first read my previous post-When Relationships Go Bad.
LOSING IT ALL
In the summer of 1986 I was on top of the world. I had a good job, a great family, many friends, and had just met a wonderful woman and her two little girls. My health was fine, and the future looked bright.
As summer turned to winter I fell deeply in love with this beautiful lady and her 2 darling children, and for the first time in my life I had another family to go with my own wonderful family.
Then in late November the company I worked for decided to close their place of business. Over a year later, I finally did get another job, but it paid less money than I had been accustomed to. Although the decrease in salary caused a few problems, I was still at peace with myself.
However, this job required much more physical labor than my previous one, and I soon began to experience severe back and neck pain. I had suffered a broken neck in a car accident in 1974 and bone spurs now formed on my spinal cord, creating a lot of pain. Because of the pain I began to work only part time.
Over the next 4 years the love I was surrounded by kept me going. I helped the woman I loved get through nursing school and raise her children. I made some sacrifices to do that but I was more than happy to do so. I was determined to stay positive and make our life together a good one.
I soon became so involved in trying to take care of everyone else that somewhere along the line I forgot about myself. My health kept on getting worse.
While these things were going on I felt a stirring inside me which said all was not right. Looking back, I realize I had become to lax in my spiritual work and too caught up in the details of my daily life. Spirit was calling but I refused to listen.
Finally, one night I released everything, asking Spirit to take control and lead me to wherever I was supposed to be. I prayed for my life to be put back in order.
Shortly thereafter, the woman I loved informed me that she was no longer happy with me and that she was leaving. She packed up and moved out of town without even saying good-bye. I was devastated. No longer was I welcome to see her or the kids. They had all disappeared like a falling star in the nite sky.
The emotional pain, coupled with the physical pain brought me to the brink of a nervous breakdown. The ones I loved had deserted me. I was no longer capable of gainful employment. I was broke but more importantly I had lost the ability to think clearly. In March of 1992 an accidental overdose of muscle relaxers resulted in my spending 9 daysin the hospital. It seemed as if even Spirit had deserted me.
During hte next 6 months I worked on getting my thoughts aligned with the storehouse of Universal Goodness . I stopped blaming others for my problems and concentrated on forgiving them as well as forgiving myself.
During this recovery period I was blessed with much love and support from my family and friends. The Science of Mind teaching became a focal point in my life, helping me to discover that Spirit is always there for me.
As time went on I began to feel even more alive than before. I replaced all negative thoughts with thoughts of love and peace. Today I am the happiest I have ever been.
When problems come up, now I know the solutions are within me and I remember to call upon Spirit. My goal is to never again lose sight of my perfect spiritual center when life brings change. At long last I allow Spirit to gently lead.